My One Million Steps challenge - and the reason I am supporting The Jordan Legacy
Friday was the end of the One Million Steps challenge. I managed just over 1.2 million steps and raised £365 for The Jordan Legacy. Thank you to everyone who has donated. Every pound will help Steve, Paul and Danielle in the amazing work they do every day. There is still time to donate, so if you have a couple of pounds spare or would like to learn more about The Jordan Legacy, head on over to my page here.
Also, yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day, spreading the message that suicides are preventable. And I wanted to explain why the day is so important to me and why I walked in support of The Jordan Legacy.
In the summer of 2008, my wife came home from work early for lunch and found me sat on the sofa sobbing. I’d spent the morning looking for a painless way to die and it had all got too much. I wanted the hurt to stop. I wanted to stop being a burden and I wanted to stop being a disappointment. If she had come in later, I would possibly have re-fitted my “I’m doing OK” mask and she wouldn’t have known. But when the mask was gone, I had nowhere to hide and started talking. And that was the first day of my long recovery, but it could have been a whole other story.
For those of you in your own dark place, my message is things can get better. I was, and am, nothing special, I don’t have vast reserves of resilience, especially not back then. But I am living proof that things can improve from the very darkest of places. I’m still standing 15 years later. You can too but its hard on your own so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if your brain is telling you no-one cares, I absolutely guarantee someone does.
For those of you who are concerned about someone, but scared to intervene for fear of making things worse. My wife had no formal training. She didn’t know the “right” thing to say – because there is no “right” thing. I have no recollection of what she said or what I said to her. Did she say something that recognised advice may suggest she shouldn’t have? Quite possibly, she’s a human being. But whatever it was – it helped. By showing compassion, love, time and care she helped me take that hardest first step forward. Don't be afraid to ask if you are worried about someone, you may just save a life.
If you are struggling, know that the world is a better place with you in it. Asking for help is hard but worth it. There are support organisations: in the UK, the Samaritans on 116 123 (24/7) or jo@samaritans.co.uk. Mind on 0300 123 3393 (Mon-Fri 09:00-18:00) and many others around the world. Reach out to someone online who talks about this subject - I’m here if you don’t know anyone else – at the very least, you may find someone who’ll listen and give you space and won't judge. Professional, trained support is going to be ideal, but having someone to help, even with finding that is invaluable.
Ultimately, please know that we care.
